Never Assume
by jibber59
Summary: A simple ride really is never that simple when Ezra is along. And Buck learns a few lessons about making assumptions.
1. Chapter 1

"Three days there and three days back. This is not the duty I had anticipated when I agreed to associate myself with this organization."

"You agreed to associate yourself with us because it got you out of jail Ezra." JD reminded the gambler. "Besides, I don't recall a lot of details were given to us at the time."

"On the contrary Mr. Dunne. We were told our services would be for the protection of our fair town. Not to be delivery boys for distant settlements."

"Judge Travis tells us what to do and we do it. Just that simple Ezra." Buck grinned. "Besides, a few days out of town can be a good thing."

"Undoubtedly such an escape can be beneficial when a jealous spouse returns and discovers you have been dallying with his mate. However, as I was not facing that predicament, I had no desire to take leave of our community or to forego the comforts, such as they are, of home."

"I didn't know she was married." Buck defended himself. "And you have more comforts than the rest of Four Corners combined."

"I see no reason I should not be using my earnings to make this existence as pleasant as is possible, under the circumstances."

"Can I ask you a question Ezra?" JD spoke tentatively.

"You just did, but yes, you may add another. Do not concern yourself Mr. Dunne, it is rather difficult to injure my feelings."

"How'd you know – never mind. I was wondering why someone like you would come out West in the first place. I mean, seeing as how you like the fancier things in all. You gotta admit, there ain't much of that in these parts."

"Well hell kid, he probably got run out of every town back east." Buck teased, regretting it when he Ezra replied.

"I said it was difficult to injure my feelings, Mr. Wilmington, not impossible."

"Damn, Ezra – I didn't mean –" He waved off the apology with a smile. Truth of the matter was Buck had given a fairly accurate assessment. Yes, there were some places he could show his face without fear of arrests or retribution of a more direct form, but those locations were increasingly limited. Travelling west seemed like a viable option. Little did he suspect at the time that choice would result in a turn on the other side of the law, the respectable one. Four months as a lawman was four months longer than he had held any legitimate employment.

Nor could he ever have for seeing his current unpleasantness. A six day ride it to deliver supplies. Which brought him back to the original discussion, which he chose to return to rather than answer JD's question.

"How often will be will we be required to make this pilgrimage?"

"Towns are sprouting up all over the territory Ezra. Travis figures keeping them supplied will help them settle faster.

"I understand the premise Mr. Dunne, I simply fail to grasp the need for -"

"The last to supply loads got bushwhacked Ezra. Travis put word out that this one was guarded, and no attacks." Buck shrugged. "Seems likely will be doing it again."

"Dreadful misuse of our skills."

"Folks appreciated it though." JD smiled, remembering how grateful everyone had been. "Kinda felt nice."

"No Mr. Dunne. A featherbed feels nice. A warm bath feels nice. Six days in the saddle does not."

JD held the reins of the wagon he was driving out toward Ezra. "You want to take over? I'll gladly get back in the saddle over this damned hard seat."

"He's got a point Ezra. We should spell off." Buck scanned the area. "If memory serves, there's a watering hole not too far ahead. We can take a break there and switch things around."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Ezra looped Chaucer's reign loosely over the wagon post and set about removing his sleeping role from his gear. "What are you doing Ezra? We aren't staying long enough for a nap."

"I'm aware of that Mr. Wilmington, tempting though the notion may be. The bedding will serve as a cushion against the unpleasant construct of a wagon seat. Is nothing in this part of the world designed for comfort?"

JD grinned. "There is if you're fixing it."

"JD was right Ezra. You simply are not the kind of guy who should be out here."

"Please convey that information to Mr. Larabee prior to the next scheduled delivery errand."

"Oh, I don't just mean out here Ezra. I'm talking about out West. You just ain't cut out for it, are you?"

"Buck, that isn't very nice." JD cautioned, worried the gambler's feelings were going to be hurt again. He'd already figured out Ezra wasn't as callous about his emotions as he purported to be.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you can't handle yourself, and we've all seen that you're a top shot. But this area ain't for city boys."

"Like Mr. Dunne?"

"Yeah Buck, like me?" JD was well aware his Boston upbringing left him lacking in the skills the rest of them had. But he had thought he was getting better.

"Well, sort of. But JD's working at it. Shooting better, riding better, all of that."

"Whereas I apparently fail to measure up." Ezra had a hint of a grin on his face, watching Buck struggle to find a way to say what he meant. And Ezra knew exactly what he meant. Buck was not the first to make assumptions about Ezra based on first impressions, and he doubted he would be the last. Fancy clothes and elegant speech were hardly the trademarks of a western settler. Let alone a law man. And that, he often found, gave him an advantage. The more unsuspecting an opponent was, the better chance one had of winning the battle.

"All I'm saying Ezra is you ain't really rugged enough for all this. I hate to see you get hurt or in trouble. That's really all I meant."

"I appreciate your concern Mr. Wilmington and shall endeavor to avoid any circumstance where misfortune might befall me. "

Buck mounted up, still mumbling under his breath. "Man took the whole thing wrong. Didn't mean anything."

JD fought to keep from laughing out loud when Ezra winked at him. To cover the chuckle, he spoke. "Ezra, you sure you shouldn't secure Chaucer better than that? Liable to run off on you the way you've got them."

"No fear of that happening. If he elects to wander a bit, or chooses not to be tethered, he can enjoy some freedom. He will come when summoned."

"If you say so." JD spurred his own ride ahead, marvelling, and not for the first time, at the faith Ezra had in his horse.

They rode in silence for a couple of hours. The pace was slower than it could have been, with an empty wagon as part of the assemblage. They'd left the older of the supply carts behind, but Mrs. Potter had insisted that her delivery wagon be returned. The slow pace and long day left the men less than attentive to their surroundings, and not ready for trouble when it struck in the most innocuous of ways.

Buck was leading the way, with Ezra still on the cart, half dozing as he allowed the horses to do most of the work. He was unaware that Buck's passing had disturbed a rattler's resting place. By the time the reptile was riled up, the wagon was practically on top of it. The workhorses reared back, pulling the reins from Ezra's slack grasp, and then bolted for all they were worth. Chaucer immediately pulled away, freeing himself from the wagon before it could pull him into the chaos. Ezra grabbed for the reins, but they were now out of his reach. The action, combined with the lurching of the wagon, set everything off balance and before anyone could register what had happened, the cart was tumbling as the horses broke free of the yolk. Ezra was thrown from the wagon, only to have it roll over him before coming to a rest in pieces several yards away.

It all took just a matter of seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Buck circled back, pulling his gun and shooting the rattler before any more trouble came from that source. JD was off his horse and approaching Ezra when Buck yelled for him to stop.

"But he needs our help!"

"Just watch where you're going."

"More snakes?" JD looked around nervously.

"Could be, but that's only part of the problem." Buck could see where Ezra had landed, and the sight chilled him through. He was in the middle of a patch of cactus, and if Buck was right, Ezra was going to be in a world of pain.

"Watch out for the cactus JD."

The man looked where Ezra lay unmoving. "Are they poisonous?"

"Not exactly, but that doesn't make them any less dangerous. We gotta move him carefully." Buck had dismounted by now, rifle in hand, and was pulling on thick riding gloves. He carefully made his way to where as relay. "Ez – can you hear me?" He got no reaction. He moved closer, using the butt of his weapon to beat back the plants closest to him. When he got next to the injured man, he squatted beside him. "Ezra?" He pulled his glove off, reaching down with dread to check for a pulse. The groan he got on touching their injured friend sent a wave of relief through both men. "Stay still Ezra. You're hurt."

"I am acutely aware of that."

Buck grinned slightly. "Well, your attitude seems to be just fine." He looked down again, smile fading. "Where does it hurt? Ezra? Ezra? Damn, he passed out." Buck swatted more of the offending plants out of the way. "JD, get over here, carefully. We gotta move him and see what's going on."

"Hang on a minute." JD grabbed his bedroll and brought it over. "We can put him on this, make it easier to carry him."

"Good thinking."

Ezra bit down on his lip, desperate to keep his reactions to himself. He eased off only when he could taste the blood.

Contrary to what others thought, he had a fairly high tolerance for pain. A myriad of experiences from a young age and throughout his life had conditioned him well. He had no doubt the others would find hours of amusement as his expense if they ever found out about the techniques and practices he had learned and perfected over the years.

Usually, they worked well. Sadly, this was not a usual circumstance. Never could he recall pain quite like this. Despite the harsh landing he was feeling no effects from the impact. He assumed that was because he could feel nothing beyond the sensation of what felt like a thousand burning pokers stabbing at him. His arm and chest appeared to have taken the brunt of the damage, although he could feel it on his face and neck to a lesser degree as well. He was dimly aware of voices, and his name being repeated, but decided he didn't have the ability to focus on any of that at the moment. He was too busy trying to cope, trying to shield the truth from his companions. All of this resolved disappeared when they rolled him, and the fire shot through his body. Hiding the shriek of reaction was simply not possible.

Buck clenched his jaw, fighting against the instinct to let Ezra go. JD pulled his hands back and he hadn't even been touching the man.

"Shit Buck! Did we kill him?"

"No, but I bet he wishes we had." He settled Ezra onto the blanket as gently as he could. "Damn it Ezra. I'm sorry about this but we have to move you again."

"I shall try to be less vocal in my response." he gasped out.

"Scream as much as you need to if it helps."

"Not a particularly rugged manner of dealing with this."

Buck wished desperately he could find a way to take that comment back. "Ain't a man alive who's not going to scream at something like this, and you got a shit load of them fire spines in you. Like I said, you do whatever you have to. We ain't gonna judge."

Ezra nodded his head, and even that simple action sent waves of pain through him. Figuring it was best to act while he was already distracted, they grabbed the corners of the blanket and lifted him clear. Another shriek filled the air and an instant later JD cursed as well.

They sat him down in a small amount of shade created by some nearby rocks. "Get me the canteens." Buck looked up when JD didn't move and saw the young man staring down at his leg, reaching for five cactus needles that stuck out.

"Don't." He cautioned. "They on you, or in you?"

"At least one is in, and it burns like hell fire." He looked down at Ezra, sickened by what he could now begin to imagine the man was going through.

"Don't just pull. They got little hooks on the end. You need to cut them out." JD turned green at the thought. "It won't be that bad kid."

"Wasn't thinking about my leg." he replied, looking down at the injuries Ezra had.

"Yeah, I get it. Look, cut your pants and get yourself taken care of. I'll get Ez settled."

"I can wait."

"No, it's gonna distract you and he needs you to be focused."

JD nodded reluctantly and stepped away. He doubted that Ezra was too aware of what was going on around him but saw no reason to give him a preview of what would be happening. He couldn't hide his relief at seeing only two of the small spikes actually under his skin. Given the pain, he'd assumed all five had pierced. He shuddered again, thinking of Ezra's multiple wounds. His anger at the injustice helped him to focus on what he was doing, taking out the rage on the spines. It took only a moment to make the small incisions and remove the spiteful items. He tied his scarf around the leg to keep it clean and hurried back to Ezra.

"I can't do it Buck. I can't cut him like that." He wasn't proud of the fact but knew it was the truth.

"Relax JD, we don't have to. Likely do more harm than good to start that up now."

"But the poison?"

"I believe Mr. Jackson would call it a toxin, rather than a poison." Ezra's voice was weak and strained.

"Hush Ezra. Save your strength."

"Whatever for Mr. Dunne?"

"We're going to get you home Ezra. Just relax and trust us."

"I can do the latter, but I do not believe that relaxation is within my abilities. As for returning to Four Corners, I cannot imagine that I would be capable of riding. Even on Chaucer." He gasped slightly. "Oh, dear Lord, Chaucer didn't step into any of this did he? Is he –" Ezra made a move to sit up and was again crippled by the pain.

"Stay still damn it. He's fine. Beast had more sense than to step into a mess like that." Buck growled in his concern.

"Yes, he always was the smarter partner, the one with the most common sense." Ezra was fading as he rested his head again.

"Ezra, I'm going to rig up a sling to go between the horses. We'll carry you back in that. You may get a bit sick from swinging, but it won't put too much pressure on your wounds. You understand?" He was answered by a barely perceptible nod. "Meanwhile, JD's gonna fix up something to help you feel better."

"He has a still?"

Buck chuckled lightly. "No booze Ezra. Can't imagine Nathan would think that was a good idea."

"Mr. Jackson is not here to approve or disapprove." Ezra gave his own small smile. "What he does not know…" as he drifted out.

"Rest Ezra." Buck said unnecessarily.

"What am I supposed to fix for him?"

Buck pointed to some of the cacti that he had batted out of the way earlier. "The pulp from inside those. Mash it up with a bit of water to make some paste. It'll sooth his skin some. We'll put some on your leg too."

"Plant has its own cure?"

"Not exactly, but it'll help some."

Both men set about their tasks with determination spurred by concern, and by the occasional weak moan or gasp from Ezra.

"How do we put all this on him without hurting him?" JD asked when he was ready.

Buck squatted beside the barely conscious patient. "We don't. We can't."

"But –"

"You ever hear the saying 'be cruel to be kind'?"

"No, but I can guess what you mean."

Buck looked at the young man. "He's going to say stuff to you, about you, when we do this. You gotta ignore it."

"Like asking us to stop?"

"Like cursing you out, your family, and anything else you can think of. He don't mean any of it."

"I'm not stupid Buck – I get that."

"Just wanted you to be ready for whatever he comes out with."

"Knowing him, we probably won't understand most of the words anyway."

"Ezra, we're gonna put some stuff on you. Like I said before, scream as much as you need to."

"I got a glove for you to bite down on Ezra. Don't worry none, I cleaned it up."

Ezra nodded weakly, taking as firm a bite as he could. He grunted loudly when the first contact was made with his skin but didn't fight against Buck's holding him as still as possible. He went quiet, focusing all his attention on every pain control trick he had never learned, heard about, or even imagined. He wasn't sure whether if was the tricks, the distraction, or the treatment but he could feel himself slowly winning the battle against the radiating pain.

After five of the longest minutes of his life, JD leaned back on his heels. "Think I got it everywhere he's hurt. Looks like it might be working."

"Either that or he's just exhausted. Can't believe he didn't say a damn thing the whole time. Let's get this strung up and we can get him moving." They stood and move away toward the horses.

"You should use Chaucer. That's a better match for size, and you know he'll be gentle for Ezra."

Buck eyed his young friend. "You got another reason for suggesting that?"

"I could ride ahead. Get Nathan to come out and meet us…"

Buck was shaking his head. "No point. He won't work on him out here. Won't be able to. We're best to stick together and keep moving. "

"We gonna stop for the night?"

"If the sky stays clear we'll have a good light from the full moon. I'd like to keep riding as much as he can handle."

"You're still worried. You said this ain't poisonous, right?"

Buck debated briefly whether or not to lie but figured there was no point, but he kept his voice low. "It won't kill him directly, but that doesn't mean he's out of danger. There could be infections, and he probably hurt himself in the fall. And you gotta keep in mind how much is hurting JD. A man, any man, can only take so much of that until it wears him down."

"He's not going to quit." JD said resolutely.

"No, I don't expect he will. That still doesn't mean he's going to win."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

 ** _tbc_**


	2. Chapter 2

The ride before the accident may have been long and boring, but it seemed like paradise compared to what they were dealing with now. They were slow getting started, trying to find a rhythm that meant Ezra could stay as still as possible. Eventually, Buck was able to match the gaits of the horses, and they fell into a consistent pace. JD had been right about Chaucer. Buck had never seen the horse – any horse – make such an effort at remaining so tranquil and smooth. Despite being fully aware of the fact it was impossible, he was certain the beast knew exactly how sick Ezra was, and was determined to do his part.

There were periodic outbursts from Ezra, usually when uneven ground resulted in a misstep from the horses. When he called Buck a lop-eared, wall-eyed, loco coyote, JD scrambled in his bag for something to write on, knowing he was going to want to remember some of these comments. After a while the comments stopped, and he became frighteningly quiet most of the time. So much so that Buck made the first stop earlier than planned to make sure he was still with them. They lowered the sling slowly, anxiety increasing as Ezra remained silent.

"Ezra? Ez, you need to wake up. We gotta get some water into you." Buck spoke softly, but anxiously. There was still no response.

"He's breathing. Why won't he wake up?"

"If you were hurting like this JD, you'd stay out of it too."

Buck reached into his saddle bag to retrieve the cactus ointment. "Hate to do this again, but I think it's keeping the swelling down."

"And the burning sensation." Ezra added weakly.

"Good to hear from you. Stupid question, but how are your feeling?"

"This has not been the most enjoyable excursion I have had Mr. Wilmington. Not even close."

JD knelt beside him and opened a canteen. "You need to try to drink a bit Ezra. You know how Nathan is about making sure we don't dry out too much."

"Indeed. Although I dare say he would be less insistent if he were feeling comparable to my current status."

"Maybe, but that don't change the facts. I'm gonna try to lift you up a bit." JD reached an arm under Ezra's shoulders, doing his best to avoid the injured areas. He froze when a small moan escaped. "Sorry Ez, I was trying –"

"No, Mr. Dunne. You were doing an admirable job. I was simply unaware of the discomfort in my other arm."

Buck looked down at him. "Hurting in more places than just the needles?"

"It would seem so. None seem severe, but the aches are not helping."

Buck ran his hands slowly over Ezra's right arm, shoulder and chest. There were grimaces, but no shouts or strong reactions. The same process was repeated on his legs, with matching results.

"Don't think you've busted anything, but I bet there are a mess of bruises under there."

"Black and blue have never been my best colours."

"No, you do seem to favor reds." Buck grinned down at him.

"Better suited to bring out the colour in my eyes, or so I have been told." He gasped sharply when he tried to smile.

"You need to stay still Ezra."

"I am making that effort, but every breath seems to pull at me. I need you to remove these abominations from my face Mr. Wilmington."

Buck shook his head. "No way Ezra. You think they hurt now, I can't tell you what that would feel like."

"Cut them out. Now."

JD looked away, trying not to show the nausea he felt at the mere thought of the action. Buck was no better at hiding his reaction. "Ezra –"

"They don't feel as deeply imbedded as do the other spikes. I believe you can remove them without inflicting further injury."

"No, I can't. Ezra, it just won't work. I can put some more of the lotion on you, but I can't start pulling those out."

"You don't understand. I can't deal with having them there. The rest, I can accept. But these – I can see them. It, it makes them more real than the rest. I can't bring myself to ignore them when I can see them."

Buck couldn't imagine how Ezra could be ignoring any of this. He stood, running a hand over his face and trying to figure a way out of all of this.

JD tried to talk Ezra out of the request. "Even cutting them out – it hurts like the devil. I know, I had a couple in my leg."

"You were injured coming to my assistance? I'm sorry Mr. Dunne, I was unaware –"

"That isn't the point Ezra. Point is, well, point is that it's gonna hurt."

"It does now. Removing them can't be worse."

JD stood and walked over to where Buck now stood. "He might have a point there, and it might help him to know they aren't sticking in his face any longer."

"Don't like it. He could get infections or start bleeding worse."

"Ain't it his call?"

"Not if he's not thinking straight."

They had turned away, trying to keep the conversation private when a sharp gasp brought them running back to Ezra's side.

"Damn Ezra, what do you think your doing?" Buck grabbed to hold him still as Ezra tried to reach up to his face again. He held two of the needles in his hand, and small trails of blood seeped from where they had been pulled. "Stop. You're gonna break them and leave the barbs under the skin. You think this is bad now, trust me, that'll be worse."

"They didn't pull Mr. Wilmington. They came out quite easily."

"Yeah, that's why you let out a yell that would wake the dead."

"I brushed my hand against my neck. That was the moment that elicited such a pitiful and weak reaction."

"Nothing pitiful about it Ezra. Can guess what it felt like."

JD had been examining the needles. "Buck, look at these. There soft. Well, softer. The barbs aren't broken off."

He took them and carefully felt at the tips. "You're right kid. I don't get it, but you're right." He looked back down at Ezra and saw something in those green eyes he'd never seen before. Desperation. Ezra was all but begging him to take away the visible reminder of what he was dealing with. He hated what he was about to say and do.

"OK Ezra, here's the plan. I'm gonna check on these. Any that seem like they can come out easy, I'll take. I'm not gonna cut on you, and I'm not gonna force anything. And the second I think this is too much, I stop."

"No stopping." Ezra amended.

"No, I stop. I won't do that to you."

Ezra clenched his jaw, wanting to say more, but knowing he really had no choice in the matter. He gave a small nod, steeling himself for what was coming, and vowing not to so much as blink during the process.

"JD, you need to hold his head still. I mean perfectly still. He starts thrashing at all, and this'll rip him up – understand?"

Fighting the bile rising in his throat, JD nodded and got into position, hands on either side of Ezra's head. "You sure about this?" He felt the slightest nod and tightened his grip. "OK Buck, we're set."

Buck reached out slowly toward the first spike, then pulled his hand back. He took a deep breath and tried again, determined not let himself shake so much, but not succeeding.

"I have the utmost faith in you Mr. Wilmington."

Ezra looked amazing calm now. The hint of panic and pleading he'd seen before was gone, and Buck was determined to match that strength and resolution. He reached out with a steady hand and gently pinched the first needle. There was a tug as he pulled, but nowhere near the resistance he had expected. He pulled lightly again and was stunned to see it slide free of the skin, a small pinprick of blood appearing in it's place. Ezra hadn't even twitched. He reached for a second, and then a third, all sliding out as smoothly.

The fourth caught and would not yield. Ezra said nothing, but tension lines appeared around his eyes. "Ezra – you OK?"

"Try a different one."

Buck hesitated a moment, then moved on. Four more came out before he again met resistance.

"Don't stop." A fine sheen of perspiration was appearing on Ezra's forehead, and Buck couldn't help but feel there was more pain going on than was being vocalized, but as long as the gambler was able to put up with this, he'd keep trying.

Buck had no clue how much time had passed when he finally stopped. Four needles remained on Ezra's jaw line. They seemed to be embedded deeper than those on the cheek and chin, and he wasn't going to force the removal. As much as he tried not to show any reactions, it was evident Ezra wasn't going to be able to take much more of this, and Buck wasn't about to risk pushing things to far.

"We're done Ezra." He cut him off before he could object. "I'm not arguing with you. You've had enough. Wish I could clean this up better for you, but I don't think I should be trying to wash it out with creek water."

"My saddlebag. There is a flask."

"Why the hell didn't you say so earlier?" JD leapt to his feet and hurried to Chaucer's side, quickly finding the container.

"As was pointed out, Mr. Jackson would not approve. And there would not be sufficient in there to do the task required."

"Flask is full Ez." JD pointed out.

"Yes, but still not enough."

"Hate to waste all this good hooch pouring it over you like this." Buck tried to lighten his own mood, as well as the moment.

"That, sir, is Kentucky sipping whiskey. Not hooch. But you are correct, it is a dreadfully inappropriate use of such ambrosia." He inhaled sharply as a dribble of it was poured over his face. "Good Lord, I did not expect that to be quite so powerful a sensation."

Buck placed a hand carefully on Ezra's chest. "Breath slow Ezra. Try to take it slow and easy." He left the hand there until he could feel the racing heartbeat slow to a more reasonable pace. He was surprised when Ezra right hand came up and lightly gripped his own. "Thank you."

Buck tried to clear away the lump in his throat. "OK, you need to rest now. You need to close your eyes." He reached to replace the cap on the flask.

"Please Mr. Wilmington. I believe you have earned a sip or two from that before you put it away. As has Mr. Dunne."

"You sharing the good stuff with us Ezra? Well this a moment the others are going to be sorry they missed. Chris has always been a bit envious of your private stock."

"Yes, I am aware. The inability to share is a character flaw of mine that I really should work harder at correcting."

Buck mentally kicked himself again. Nothing like picking on a man when he's down. "Don't fret on that Ezra. You're entitled to your own bottled red eye there. We all have our preferences."

"Kentucky Whiskey is not 'red eye' Mr. Wilmington. When we return home, I shall have to make an effort to expand your understanding of fine drink."

"Well that sounds like fun. Can I get in on the lesson?"

"Of course. I live to educate." Ezra was drifting off, exhausted by the past several minutes. When he was asleep again, Buck put the flask bag into the saddlebag.

"Ain't you gonna take a gulp?"

"Don't see as I have the right to."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

It was starting to get dark when they reached another spot for a rest stop. JD brought water over for the horses, not wanting them to have to bow down for it. It had been getting harder on Ezra each time they settled him back into place and they vowed never to inflict that again.

Buck gently lifted the covering off Ezra to reapply the pulp.

"Have we arrived home?"

"Sorry Ezra. Not yet. Getting closer though."

"I am impeding your progress."

"You ain't doing anything. Gotta rest the horses is all."

"I deeply appreciate what you have tried to do, and regret causing you so much extra effort."

"Just stop Ezra. This is what you do for a friend, so stop fussing."

"I keep forgetting to ask if we retained possession of the work horses when I lost control of the wagon."

"Wouldn't say you lost control of anything, but yeah, we still have them."

"At least we can return those to Mrs. Potter. She will be greatly perturbed over the loss of her wagon."

"She'll be more perturbed over what happened to you." JD amended.

"Yes – I do have an outstanding balance with her. Please Mr. Dunne, there is money in a lockbox –"

"She won't care about that Ezra. That's not what I meant."

"Why else would she be concerned?"

JD looked across at Buck with exasperation. "Is he really that dense?"

"On some things."

Ezra let out another soft curse and faded back to oblivion.

"He's got a lockbox?" JD would never have guessed.

"The way he wins the cards I ain't surprise. You just forget you heard him say that JD. Nobody's business but his."

"Guess he's got a lot of things he doesn't tell us about."

"Everybody has secrets JD. Just human nature is all."

"I know. But sometimes I get the feeling he just doesn't really trust us with some things."

"Don't think he's had a lot of experience sharing his life with folks." Buck sighed as he got ready to mount up again. "Can't say as I blame him, when you think about the things I said to him before."

"He knows you didn't mean any harm Buck."

"Doesn't really matter whether I meant harm or not – I caused it."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

 ** _TBC_**


	3. Chapter 3

They rode through the night, stopping only to water and rest the horses and of course, check on Ezra. Seeing that he seemed to be able to get some needed rest, they left him alone. First light saw them pulling to a stop again, with JD repeating the watering procedure for the horses, as well as refilling their own canteens. Buck pulled out the cactus mash, ready to treat Ezra again.

"We should be home real soon now Ezra, and Nathan will fix this all up right for you. Ezra? Ezra can you hear me?"

"Buck, what's wrong?"

"He won't wake up?"

JD dropped the canteen and hurried over. "He ain't…"

"No, he's breathing, but it's real shallow. Sweating something fierce too."

"Think he was like that all night and we just didn't see it?"

"No, he wasn't like this. That was sleep. Or at least a real good rest. This is more."

"You think maybe he was hurt when he got thrown? Something wrong inside?"

"Hard to say. He may not have even noticed the way this was causing so much pain."

"How much more do you think he can take Buck?"

"Wouldn't have guessed he could handle as much as he has, so I couldn't answer that."

"Should we let him rest more or get moving?"

"Don't think we have much choice. Sooner we get him home, the better."

They picked up their pace as much as they thought he, and the horses, could handle. By midmorning, the landscape was more familiar and a short while later JD got the approval he wanted to race ahead home.

"Let Nathan know everything." Buck prayed the healer wasn't off on some other mission. "Tell them not to bother riding out. Nothing they can do here." JD was about to surge ahead when Buck called to him. "Tell them he's gone quiet, real quiet. Not sure that's good."

"Simply conserving my strength Mr. Wilmington." Ezra's faint voice startled them both.

"Oh thank God. Good to hear you Ez. You've been scaring us half to death here." Buck answered him.

"My apologies for the unintended side effect of my actions. I did not consider the consequences."

"You just keep resting Ezra. I'll see you when you get back to town."

"I thank you for all your efforts on my behalf Mr. Dunne. I have no doubt I did not make things go easy, and undoubtedly said things I shall regret when I can remember them."

"I wrote a few them down." JD grinned in relief to hear Ezra's voice. "Can't wait for you to explain them to me."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Josiah and Chris were waiting at the foot of the clinic stairs when Buck rode up. It was clear they were both forth forcing themselves to stay calm as they approached. "We'll get him upstairs." Chris said quietly.

"Where the hell is Nathan?"

"Relax Buck, he's upstairs getting stuff ready." Josiah moved closer to Ezra. He blanched even further on seeing the flushed face, clenched in pain and glistening with sweat. "Hang in there, son. Nathan's gonna fix you up. He'll get some laudanum in you and then –"

"No. No laudanum."

"Ezra, I know you don't like the stuff - hell it makes all of us nauseous." Chris responded. "But there are times it's needed, and this is definitely one of them." He'd encountered those spikes once himself and could feel for the gambler now.

"No!" he repeated with more strength than they would have guessed he had. "I can't."

"We'll talk to Nathan about it when we get you up there."

"No, Mr. Larabee. Chris. Please. I may well be unconscious by the time I am relegated to his care. Do not let him give me that – that –" he dropped his head back, exhausted by the outburst.

"Been a burden on you in the past, hasn't it?" Josiah realized what Ezra was trying not to tell them.

"In a world of experiences that I choose not to brag about, that is decidedly not my proudest story."

"Relax Ezra. We'll explain it to Nathan."

"Thank you." Ezra again worked on focusing on anything other than what was happening as they transported him up the stairs. His prediction had been right, and he was oblivious to all around him by the time they'd settled him in. Nathan took one look and reached for the laudanum, stopping when Chris grabbed his arm.

"He doesn't want it."

"Too bad, he needs it." Nathan pulled free.

"No. He really doesn't." Nathan was about to argue when he saw the look on Chris's face and understanding clicked in.

"Damn. He have a problem with it during the war?"

"Don't know. Don't know how bad it was either. But he's more afraid of that than he is of the pain, so I say we let him win this one."

"Not sure as I'd call it winning."

Buck handed him a small tin. "We've been putting this on him along the way. Pulp from the cactus – seemed to help some."

"Good thinking," Chris smiled. "That's some relief anyway."

Nathan nodded. "I'll treat him again. Gonna need you two in about 10 minutes to help keep him still when I start working on get those outta him." He looked to Chris and Josiah who both nodded.

"You can use all of us."

"No, Buck. You and JD need to rest."

"I'm fine, but you do need to check his leg when you've got done with Ezra."

"Already looked at it. It'll be fine. Buck, you're exhausted. You done right by Ezra, now let us finish this up."

Chris took his friend by the arm and led him out. "I'll be back in a couple minutes." He said over his shoulder. Wordlessly, he guided Buck down the stairs and outside. "He's right, you're done in."

"He needs –"

"We can handle what he needs. You gotta rest Buck."

"I should take care of the horses."

"Tiny's got that. Said he'd be proud to take care of Chaucer. I think Ezra's one of the few humans that Tiny likes."

"Tiny likes anyone who cares about his horse. So yeah – Ezra's one of his favourites." Buck's voice shook as he spoke. "Damn Chris, I've never seen anyone hurting like that. Every time we touched him – moved him. Damn."

"I can only imagine how he reacted."

"That's just it Chris. I don't think you can. Most of the time he was – almost calm." Chris looked sceptical. "Yeah, I know. But I don't know what else to call it. I mean sure, he yelled and cursed some along the ride back. But not nearly so much as you'd think. And for the rest of the time he was, well like I said, almost calm."

"Unconscious." Chris corrected.

"No, don't think so." Buck leaned against the wall and sagged slightly. "Don't know how he got himself through it, and the rest is just gonna be harder."

"He's tougher than he lets on you know."

"I know it now."

"Go. Get some sleep. Nathan already sent JD home. You can sit with Ezra later on."

"Vin out on patrol?"

"Don't worry about that Buck. Go to bed." Chris started back to Nathan's, then turned again. "I mean **your** bed Buck. Go get some **sleep**."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Josiah walked slowly down the stairs. Nathan had tried to reassure them that Ezra was now resting comfortably, but Josiah couldn't imagine how that was possible. Like the others, he'd encountered the pain from those cactus spines himself. Seeing how many Ezra had to deal with, not to mention the long ride home, he couldn't imagine any form of comfort existed in Ezra's world right now. But he was resting. And, in his usual fashion, appeared to be beating the odds.

Mrs. Potter waved from her window, summoning him over to the store.

"Good afternoon Mr. Sanchez. I hear the others have arrived back in town." He nodded, but she continued before he could speak. "I thought that had to be wrong, since I didn't see my wagon out back. I have deliveries to make at the end of the week and I trust they didn't forget they were to return –".

"Mrs. Potter, you won't be getting it back." Josiah interrupted, too tired to concern himself with manners.

"That can't be right. They assured me it would be returned. Mr. Larabee assured me."

"Madam, your wagon was destroyed when the horses bolted. Ezra was hurt. Hurt bad."

"Oh dear Lord! I had no idea. I'm so sorry. Will he be alright? I didn't know." She was nearly beside herself with concern and guilt, and Josiah immediately regretted his tone.

"Yes, Nathan thinks he will be alright, in time. I shouldn't have –"

"No Mr. Sanchez. I understand. I should've known there was a good – well in this case bad – reason. Is there anything I can do? Anything he needs, or any of you do?"

"No ma'am, we're fine." He stopped as a thought crossed his mind. "Although when he's feeling better, I bet one of your fruit pies would please him no end."

"Of course." She smiled faintly. "I really am very sorry. About everything."

Josiah reached over and took her hand in his, seeking to reassure her. "I know you are." He headed back on his way to the church, stopping first to check on Chaucer just so he could answer Ezra's inevitable questioned.

"How's Mr. Ezra doing?"

"He's better Tiny. He's going to be alright."

"Chaucer will be happy to know that."

"We are too." He started to walk away but paused when he spotted an item out of the corner of his eye. He turned back. "Tell me, that busted up old wagon out back there – are you willing to part with it?"

"Been using it up as fire wood. Not good for anything else."

"Wheels are good though, right?"

"Look to be. Why?"

"Because we owe Mrs. Potter a wagon. I've got lumber at the church…"

Tiny nodded his understanding. "You take the wheels then. She's a good lady. Always polite to me. You take those wheels.

"Much obliged Tiny." _At least_ , he thought to himself, _that was one problem that was easy to resolve._

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Buck hadn't expected to be able to sleep, but he was snoring almost from the moment his head hit the pillow until Vin came to wake him. "Nathan wants you over there."

Buck felt his stomach drop to his boots. "Is it bad? Did things go bad?"

"Don't know Buck. I just got word to bring you and JD over. Only got back a few minutes ago myself. Josiah filled me in. Are you okay?" He spoke as Buck pulled on fresh clothes.

"I wasn't hurt."

"Not what I asked."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, sure you are." Vin replied knowingly.

"It'll keep. Let's move."

Buck bounded up the stairs of the clinic, barely allowing his feet to touch the treads. He was stopped by Chris at the top, but relaxed when he saw the smile.

"He's asking for you. Nathan says he'll likely be drifting in and out, so don't worry if that happens."

"He's okay?"

"He will be. Right now, he's dead beat, and still hurting quite a bit, but it's better since we got those damn things out to him."

"You made that a lot easier on him Buck." Nathan volunteered from in the room.

"How the hell did I do that?"

"Keeping him soaked with the pulp. Softened them up and numbed the skin some as well. Most of them pulled out easy. Only needed to cut on a few of the deep ones in his chest. Likely won't even have any scars from all of this. That was real good thinking Buck." Nathan gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"Did I hear Mr. Wilmington's name being uttered?"

"Yes Ezra. I'm here."

"As am I. Will wonders never cease."

Buck pulled a chair closer to the bed. "You look rode hard and put away wet. And before that triggers any questions, yes Chaucer has been taken care of. Tiny saw to it."

"He is a good man. He cares."

"Yeah. You should be resting Ezra."

"Need to speak to you and Mr. Dunne."

"I'm here Ezra." JD hurried into the room, followed closely by Josiah who had gone to fetch him.

"We're all here now."

"I need to both thank you and to offer my deepest apologies."

"Save it Ezra. We didn't do anything you wouldn't have done, and there's nothing to apologize for."

"Mr. Jackson tells me you spared me considerable discomfort."

"Like to take the credit, but that was just dumb luck."

"I accept luck in any form it elects to present itself." He tried with no success to hide a yawn.

"Sleep. Everything else can keep till later."

"I spoke when I shouldn't have. I said things Mr. Wilmington..." He was fading quickly.

"So did I Ezra. Got a hell of a lot more to apologize for than you do." Buck's confession was unheard by its intended recipient, but Chris was close enough.

"Damn it Buck, what did you say to him?"

"It was nothing Chris." JD leapt in to defend him.

"Called him weak. Said he didn't have what it took to survive out here. Wasn't tough. Never been so wrong about someone in my entire life."

"I wouldn't feel too bad about it Buck." Josiah advised. "He works hard to maintain that image. Keeps people off guard. They don't see him as anyone to worry about, don't see them as a threat."

"That would be a serious misjudgment on their part." Nathan added.

Buck nodded. "We are beginning to figure that out."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

"When I said he could have visitors, I didn't expect you all to barge in at the same time." Nathan's glare did nothing to discourage the men clustered around Ezra. Nor did the patient seem the least bit put out by the invasion. Two days of sleep and solitude had left him bored beyond anything he could imagine.

"If they leave, I am following."

"You aren't going anywhere for at least another 48 hours."

"I failed to comprehend why I cannot recover –"

"In the comfort of my own featherbed." Five voices finished for him, including Nathan's. Buck remained out of it but added his opinion.

"Man has the right to his comfort, especially after all this. Ain't right for you to make sport of him."

"Easy there, Buck. Ezra knows we're just kidding." Vin replied.

"It's not funny."

"While I appreciate your defence of my rights Mr. Wilmington, I assure you the action is unnecessary. Only a fool would be offended by a simple statement of facts."

"Fact is, you've been to hell and back, and it ain't over yet. This is gonna be hurtin' him for a while. I don't see there's anything funny in that."

"Nobody does Buck" JD tried to settle his friend. "Ezra gets that."

"Mr. Wilmington. None of the blame for this is on your shoulders. I am fairly certain I have already expressed that to you."

"I know." Buck said quietly. "It's just – I said some pretty rotten things - no don't try to wave it off. I was dead wrong about all of it, and I'm sorry."

"Very well. Since you insist upon apologizing, I will accept it. If for no other reason than it will allow us to move on from all of this."

"Not so fast." Chris cut in. "Buck told us about some of the ride back, and I'll admit that I'm a bit confused."

"Then I shall endeavor to do everything within my power to alleviate any perplexities you may be coping with."

"You just have to talk like that, don't you? Okay, fine. Thing is, I have a good idea on how much those spines hurt. Been there a few times. Most of us have."

"It was decidedly not a pleasant experience."

"I think what he's wondering, Pard, is how you handled it so well."

"That's not meant as a reflection on you Ezra. I'd be asking that of any man who acted the way Buck and JD are saying you did."

"My recollection is that I screamed and cursed. Quiet loudly and with some degree of venom. Hardly exemplary behaviour."

"You had your moments, but most of the time it was like you just slept through it. Not passed out. Sleeping."

Ezra looked at the men surrounding him. At the genuine concern and curiosity they were demonstrating. Maybe it was time to let the walls down, at least a little. Time to trust them with a few of his secrets, since he already trusted them with his life.

"Not sleeping Mr. Wilmington. Meditating."

"What?"

"Basically, a form of self hypnosis."

"Like them fellas in the travelling shows do?" JD asked excitedly.

"No. They are not reputable practitioners of the craft. Although I am more than capable of re-creating their spurious actions if the need arises."

"What are you doing then?" Chris asked.

Ezra hesitated briefly before realizing there was no turning back now that he'd started. "Have any of you gentlemen been to New Orleans?" No one had. "It is a locale with seeing I assure you. A myriad of new and varied experiences. It was there I first was exposed to, well," he smiled, thinking back on the experiences, "to a great number of things. Relevant to this discussion is the practice of voodoo."

Nathan pulled up sharply at the word, and Josiah moved in a little closer. The others were at a loss to understand their interest.

"You can't be serious Ezra? That's not something to play around with."

"You are familiar with the practices Mr. Jackson?"

"Heard tell of them. Heard stories."

"What's this voodoo?" Vin asked.

"Devil worship." Nathan answered. They all looked stunned by the reply.

"No Mr. Jackson. That is a popular misconception. Yes, the religion has been abused by some throughout history to manipulate circumstances to their benefit. But then, which religion has not met that fate?"

"Amen." Josiah smiled.

"Rest assured, I have not been lured into the more macabre and mystical aspects of this faith, intriguing though they may be. What I did learn is the imminently practical skill of putting oneself into a trance."

"That's the hypnosis thing? JD asked, his curiosity racing.

"Yes, basically. In the most simple description I can offer, it allows one to separate the mind and body."

"Sounds dangerous." Chris observed.

"Sounds crazy." Buck countered.

"Perhaps, but it can be extremely beneficial. On one occasion it enabled me to convince a rather violently irritated gentleman that I had passed on to my final reward, thus negating his need to kill me."

"Unhappy customer?" Vin smiled.

"Something along those lines, yes."

"And that helped you with this?" Nathan asked, interested in spite of his better judgment.

"While the trance experience is not the perfect solution, it does allow me to become less acutely aware of pain or similar discomforts. I can, when needed, bring on a mild trance state to help me relax when slumber eludes me.

"Like when you're away from that featherbed of yours.?" JD grinned.

"Precisely."

"That's why you seem so out of it on the ride home? You were doing the sleep trick?" Buck could see the advantage even if he couldn't begin to understand how it worked.

"That, along with the ministrations and care you gentlemen were able to provide was what enabled me to survive the experience."

Nathan leaned back, a contemplative look on his face. "Is this something anyone can learn?"

"With practice. And considerable patience."

"That lets you out kid." Buck teased.

"Oh yeah, like you'd be any better."

"Those trances? Is there a way to put someone else into one?"

"If someone is sufficiently suggestible, yes, it can be done. But it is not something I would encourage. One could easily be taken advantage of by people with limited scruples."

Chris kept the thought to himself as he realized he couldn't imagine the Ezra he'd met four months ago making such a cautionary statement.

"Could you teach me?"

"Mr. Jackson, **you** wish to participate in devil worship?" Ezra grinned.

Nathan sheepishly grinned back. "I'm hoping it might help me settle folks down when they're hurt or sick. Especially in cases like yours, when I can't use more traditional treatments."

Ezra thought the matter over for a moment. "I am not certain how successful that would be. The patient would have to be able to concentrate and be open to the suggestion. You might find it more useful in helping people with ongoing pains or lingering problems."

"So, you'll be using this trance stuff for the next few days."

"I imagine, based on what I have been told, that I shall need to rely on the relief it can provide me. I suppose that will give you an opportunity to observe the practice first hand."

"Don't want to intrude on you any." Nathan replied, although he had to admit he was more than anxious to see the technique applied.

"There really is not much to be seen. But yes, if you think this effort would be worthwhile, I would be most willing to try to share my limited expertise. Of course, it will come at a cost."

Nathan looked at him with surprise. "You really plan to charge me for this?"

"Yes, but not in the manner you assume. I wish to be allowed to return to the comfort of my room."

Nathan shook his head, only partially to reflect his response. It was more amazement at the man's tenacity. Chris spoke before he could answer.

"Okay – make you a deal Ezra. You rest quiet here for today and tonight. If you're still showing no problems in the morning, we'll get you back to your own room." Nathan started to object to Chris's plan, but the look of gratitude on Ezra's face silenced him.

"That would seem to be an acceptable and appreciated compromise."

"When you're showing Nathan this meditation of yours, do you think I might sit in with you?" Josiah asked.

"Looking for another religion to investigate?" Chris asked, only partially serious.

"I can see this being a powerful tool in helping to commune with greater powers of any sort."

"Well," Vin added his opinion, "sounds a lot like some of the talk I've heard from Medicine Men over the years. I don't think making the effort would hurt any of us."

"Think I'll pass." Chris declined. "'sides, not sure I have the patience you were talking about. Pretty sure that'll count Buck out as well."

"I shall be most pleased to share the knowledge with any of you who expressed an interest. I cannot guarantee how successful it will be, but I agree it is likely to be a worthwhile experiment. However, I think planning for such an event should be put off, at least for a short time.

"I'm guessing that's your way of saying you're getting tired." Vin could see the reappearing lines of pain and fatigue on Ezra's face. Despite his insistence he was ready for company, they did seem to have overwhelmed him.

"Perhaps a short nap is in order."

JD moved closer to the bed. "Just one more thing Ezra. I know I wouldn't be much good at learning that trance stuff you're talking about, but I'd really appreciate it if you could take some time to teach me some of those curses you were shouting out. 'Gadabout lickfinger?' Can't wait to hear more like that. They sure sound a lot more interesting than the usual stuff I hear from Buck and Chris."

"Oh, dear Lord, what have I revealed? Well, as I said Mr. Dunne, I am always eager to share my knowledge, however disreputable it may be in this case, with hungry minds."

"Well if he's going to be able to get any rest, y'all better leave." He looked over to Buck. "That means all of you." Nathan insisted. He placed a bell next to the bed. "You ring this if you need anything. One of us will be close enough to hear."

Buck was the last to exit. He paused at the door, turning his hat in his hands as he tried to find a way to say what he was thinking.

"Need I reassure you again Mr. Wilmington?"

"No Ezra. I get it. I just wanted to say…" He hesitated for a brief instant. "Just wanted to say I'm right proud to ride with you Ezra." He turned and left too quickly to hear Ezra's response.

"The feeling is entirely mutual, my friend."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

 **The End**

 _Thank you all for reading, and for the wonderful reviews. Your words soothe my soul and stroke my ego in all the best ways possible._


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